You might think it is hard being a legislator: You have to come to work on a Saturday, read thousands of pages, debate, vote — what a mess! Those poor congressmen and senators, sacrificing their weekends and doing all they can to save a troubled nation, right? Nope. Being a legislator is easy. If you're having a hard time, you're doing it wrong.

Every federal elected official takes an oath to uphold and protect the Constitution. That oath should trump any campaign promises, back-room lobbyist deals and even a legislator's better judgment. If a particular bill is unconstitutional, no matter how good you believe it to be, you simply cannot vote for it. Likewise, a priest simply cannot reveal a confession, even if he thinks he ought to, and a lawyer cannot violate confidentiality about past acts, even if he thinks it'd be right to. They've taken oaths.

For a while, I've wanted to send each federal lawmaker a single question on a pre-addressed and stamped postcard: "What bills have you reluctantly voted against because they were unconstitutional, even though you thought they were good for the country?" I bet only Ron Paul would have a real list. I also bet no one would answer unless I enlist an army of crayon-wielding pre-schoolers to give it that homemade touch.

It should be easy to be a legislator. Just read a bill until it violates the Constitution, then vote against it. If you somehow get to the end of it without a violation, then use your judgment. The way bills are written now, it might never happen during your term.

The health care reform plan is now more than 2,000 pages. For perspective, the entire federal tax code is about 8,000 pages, and that monstrosity itself is known for neither its brevity nor its wit.

Do you know what the health care plan is for? According to its own terms, it is partially to amend the federal tax code "to modify the first-time homebuyers credit in case of members of the Armed Forces and certain other Federal employees, and for other purposes."

I got the Senate bill. I searched for the term "Armed Forces." Other than in that introduction, the term appears only once — to exempt them as well as other government employees from the health care plan that will be shoved down our proletariat throats. The term never appears again.

But fortunately, there is a lot of effort put into pacifying our restless American Indian population. In this time of Thanksgiving, when we reflect on how much we have taken from the Native Americans and how little we have returned, this health care plan helps atone for the miscarriage of justice. Specifically, when a five-year plan for dental education is enacted across this country (seriously), the "science-based" strategies and activities will be targeted towards specific populations such as children, pregnant women, the elderly, Native Americans and other ethnic minorities. What kind of teaching will our hard-earned but easily-usurped wages pay for during this five-year educational onslaught? Dental sealants. Our long national nightmare of Indians ignorant of the benefits of dental sealant is finally over.

Do you know how often the word "homebuyers" appears in the document, after its prominent location in the introduction? A big whopping zero. Obviously the introduction is just a placeholder for a massive infusion of government authority over your life.

In this latest health care bill, the text reads, "Strike all after the enacting clause and insert the following," which is then duly followed by thousands of pages of an uninterrupted new bill.

We can call our legislators and tell them not to vote for the bill, but that will just delay the inevitable and add a couple of thousand other pages of pork into it. There are 100 senators. If each got basically 40 pages to write whatever law they wanted, even if it contradicted stuff other senators wrote, who wouldn't vote for it?

They are cashing a carte blanche we didn't agree to pay.

Dr. Phil Maymin is an Assistant Professor of Finance and Risk Engineering at NYU-Polytechnic Institute. The views represented are his own.